When I was a little kid and would whine and cry for no reason, my dad would usually say something like “You better knock it off, or I’ll give you something to cry about”. I’m sure we’ve all heard that growing up. Yesterday I decided to put that saying into practice. Now I’m sure EVERYONE knew it was Earth Day because of how important it is, and I’m sure hippies were having recycling parties and playing king of the mountain seeing who could be the number one person on the soapbox to show all of us unenlightened people just how crucial global warming is. I’ve stated it numerous times before, I don’t believe that this man-made global warming junk is going to doom the planet it ten years. Does this mean I don’t care about pollution? Well according to the radical nutjobs it does. So yesterday I decided to celebrate Earth Day as a truly evil conservative hate-monger who doesn’t give a flip about natural resources. After all, I don’t have any kids, so why would I care if I waste the Earth’s resources and pollute the planet? I’ll be long gone when the trouble starts. Now to prove that I’m not one of these people that’s all talk and no action *cough* Al Gore *cough*, I decided to show photographic evidence of how I celebrated Earth Day and did whatever I could to waste natural resources. Hey, I’m an evil conservative, remember? So if the eco-freaks want something to cry about, please keep reading.
During warm weather months, I usually keep my house at about 74 or 75 degrees…but not yesterday. As an aside, I think it’s strange how this has been about the coldest April I can remember, but again, I’m an evil conservative that doesn’t see all the “evidence” of man-made global warming. When I got up, the first thing I did was cut my AC on full blast to a chilly 68 degrees. Hey, it’s my friggin house and I’ll keep it as cold as I want. In fact, here’s a picture to prove what I set it to when I woke up -
Again, I’m a man of action. Yes, it was a wee bit nippy inside, but eco-freaks would think I’d waste resources so I had to endure it. After that it was time for the morning protein shake, and step two in wasting resources and damaging the environment. I’ve mentioned it before, but I have a very environmentally unfriendly refrigerator. I opened the door, and here’s the sticker on the inside that I saw -
In case you can’t read it, the sticker states - “WARNING: Contains CFC11 and CFC12. Substances which harm public health and environment by destroying ozone in the upper atmosphere.” Seriously, could me, as an evil conservative, have a better refrigerator? I think not. So it’s destroying the ozone…I don’t care. As long as my Coke Zero is ice cold then that’s all that matters. Well when I saw this sticker, I felt the need to release as much CFC11 and CFC12 into the atmosphere as possible, so I left the door open for HOURS as shown below -
Oh I know what you’re thinking - “But Bo, didn’t your Coke Zero get warm?” Please, I’m smarter than that. All I had to do was turn down the thermostat of the fridge to increase the output. Yes, more CFC11 and CFC12 probably were pumped into the atmosphere, but as cold as April has been I figured we could use a little warming. Up next was water. Now I battled with this one. The reason being, if all the polar ice caps are melting and raising the sea levels to where we will all be living in Atlantis in a few years, by me wasting water, I might be helping the cause. Oh well, I got through it. So I decided to cut on every faucet and just let them run. Yep, even though we’ll all be living in the deep seas sometime soon, I decided to waste water. So here’s a few photos showing that -
Once again I show that I’m a man of action! Just look at all that precious water going to waste…it’s a shame isn’t it? Remember, I’m an evil conservative and because I am one, I have to waste any and all resources I can because I’m not as thoughtful as someone like Al Gore. Speaking of Big Al, he claims his businesses and houses are carbon neutral, whatever in the heck that means. He’s come up with this idea about carbon dioxide being a pollutant. Now I don’t know about you, but when something is needed to keep living organisms alive, like plants and trees for example, I don’t really see how it can be a pollutant. Then again, I’m not as enlightened as Big Al. Of course people with his mentality didn’t feel the need to supply Terry Schiavo with resources to keep her alive, but I digress. So I felt the need to expel as much CO2 in the air as possible…providing such an over-abundance of it that all the plants couldn’t possibly use it all to convert it to oxygen. How did I do this? Well one thing is my band had practice, so I truly emphasized the need for me to practice vocals on all the new songs over and over and over. Another way was I spent a lot of time on the phone talking about nothing. This is evidenced here -
As you can see, the battery indicator in the upper right shows my phone is about of juice, so I talked quite a bit. I dialed several wrong numbers and tried to strike up conversations, and in fact ordered a pizza during the busiest time just so I would be put on hold where I talked to myself the entire time. This also resulted in someone getting in their car to burn gas to bring me food. And yes, that’s Eric Cartman on my phone. He can’t stand hippies, I can’t stand hippies…seemed like a perfect match…hahaha.
Well I truly hope everyone had a great Earth Day and really made yourself feel better by saving the planet. I did my part to destroy it since I’m supposed to as an evil conservative. So there you go, hopefully I gave eco-freaks something to really whine about. Hey, I’m just doing what I can to help people…hahaha.
I get quite cynical at times. Oh I know, VERY hard to believe, isn’t it? I can’t stand it when people take up a cause and try to show just how awesome of a person they are because they are “raising awareness”. If you care about the environment and want to do your part, then I’m all for it, but don’t turn it into a show. Don’t come out and act like I’m an idiot because I don’t see things your way. So I’m supposed to put stock in the man-made global warming stuff because a guy that played a bartender on “Cheers” speaks about it? Who in the heck made Ted Danson an authority on anything? Oh wait, he’s a celebrity, so he’s more enlightened than I am. Just like Al Gore. Big Al makes some stupid movie and because I don’t swallow everything, I’m closed-minded and hateful. Meanwhile HE’S the one who has a couple of houses wasting energy and flying around in a private plane to talk about us serfs wasting energy. Now I know someone will probably email me and say “How can you act like this?” over what I’m about to talk about, but whatever. I’ve mentioned before I sleep with the TV on…it’s just a habit I got in years ago. I leave it on the local ABC channel, primarily because the local news traffic reporter is a very pleasant face to see when I wake up…haha. Her name is Theresa Weakly I think…what a babe. Anyway, this past Friday when “Good Morning America” started, Robin Roberts and Diane Sawyer were sitting at the desk wearing orange and red. They started talking about how that day everyone should wear the Virginia Tech colors to show support to the victims of the massacre and blah blah blah. Yes, it was horrible, but for me to wear the school colors here in Nashville would be completely meaningless, unless I wanted to walk around that day thinking “wow…look at how awesome I am…I’m showing my support to the victims even though I’m a thousand miles away and no one impacted by it will see me”. It was one thing to fly the flag after 9/11 because the COUNTRY was attacked, but for me someone to wear the VA Tech colors because of the shootings? Fine, do what you have to do to feel good about yourself. I’m sure it’s really helping….yawn. It reminds me of a commercial I saw back around 1990 when eco-freaks really started being a “voice”. There was a commercial for Downy detergent, and how you could buy this small cardboard box of concentrate you could refill the big plastic bottle with and add some water. The commercial had Jill Housewife filling up the big bottle, and then collapsing the box and throwing it away. I’ll never forget the final scene where she’s in the park with her kids and ready to spread the picnic blanket…she turns to the camera and goes “And it’s also nice knowing that not only am I saving money, but I’m making the future better for my kids”. Oh please…give me a break. Hey, how about the gas you burned going to the park? If people want to give to something or help something then fine…more power to you…but don’t make it a show, it just looks SO insincere. To sum up, I’d like to be a religious zealot and quote from the words of Jesus -
“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” - Matthew 6:2-4
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